


The Road That Leads Home

by Chisotahn



Category: Persona 4
Genre: M/M, p4week2014
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-05
Updated: 2014-06-05
Packaged: 2018-02-03 12:02:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1744025
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chisotahn/pseuds/Chisotahn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yosuke's timing has never been that great, but figuring out exactly what he feels for Souji just a little too late... that pretty much tops them all. Written for P4Week2014! True ending spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Road That Leads Home

**Author's Note:**

> Written for P4Week2014 - favorite OTP. Because I've shipped these two for five years and I see absolutely no reason to stop now! 
> 
> Many thanks to my dear partner Frigoris for her beta assistance. <3

He didn't realize when Souji went into the TV with him, that second time, with that dumb rope around their waists and all bravado and golf clubs and wrenches. Nor later that same day, when Souji had seen the absolute worst of him and still given Yosuke a hand up and a smile afterwards.

He didn't realize when he broke down crying on the riverbank, only to find Souji's arms around him, and he barely managed to squeak out _you idiot, that's for girls_ before giving up on dignity entirely.

He didn't even realize later that week, on the overlook, when the words _you're special to me, you know?_ managed to escape his lips.

And he didn't realize after they'd screamed themselves hoarse in a hospital bathroom, Yosuke filled with more anger than he could handle and Souji so calm that he didn't seem human any more - at least until the calmness cracked and revealed his partner's grief and fear.

(He didn't realize the first time he called Souji _partner_ , either.)

When they caught Adachi? Nope.

Ski trip? Nope.

That last day, facing a rotting goddess and winning?

Nope.

On the train platform?

Nope.

 

Yosuke Hanamura did, in fact, not figure it out until the day _after_.

 

The phone call had been a pleasant surprise, especially since it coincided perfectly with Yosuke’s ride home from Junes - it wasn’t as good as having Souji actually there, but it was far preferable to no Souji at all. "You could have just texted me, dork," he informed Souji as he attempted to steer his bicycle and hold his cell phone at the same time.

"Yeah, well, I wanted to talk to you instead of trying to decipher your texts," Souji teased right back, the other boy's voice sounding vaguely tinny over the cell connection.

"Oh, come on - it's not my fault you want to spell everything out. Speed before perfect grammar." Yosuke rolled his eyes good-naturedly, even though Souji couldn't see, and made a wobbly left turn. "Anyway, you just saw me yesterday!"

"I said goodbye to you yesterday. There's a difference."

"Eh, I guess," Yosuke allowed, with an internal sigh. Saying goodbye to Souji hadn't actually been the hard part. That had come later, after he'd managed to get Teddie to stop sniffling and go to sleep, leaving him alone with a sense of finality. It was all over. Everything was over.

At least talking to Souji pushed that feeling of over away, at least for a little while. He could almost pretend that his best friend was perched on the back of the bike, if it weren’t for the lack of holding-on-for-dear-life going on. He executed another turn and nearly sent the phone flying. 

“... Please tell me you aren’t riding your bike,” Souji said once Yosuke had regained his grip on the phone and stopped muttering under his breath.

“Shut up. Anyway, I’m almost home.”

“Try not to die on the way. I can see the headlines now - feared by gods and monsters, Yosuke Hanamura tragically perished earlier today at the hands of a trash can.”

“Ha-freakin’-ha.” The bike’s brakes squealed unpleasantly as Yosuke pulled up in front of his house; he managed to drag the bike inside the gate one-handed, though he whacked the front wheel into his leg in the process. “You’re the one who called me on my way home, anyway.”

“I still don’t want to send flowers to your funeral.” Souji chuckled wryly. “I prefer you alive and in one piece.”

“I’m fine, geez.” He sighed dramatically, then grinned. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, partner.”

“Me neither,” Souji said, sounding wistful. 

There was a small pause before Yosuke sighed into the phone. “I better go in. I only get so much time before Teddie comes home, and I really need a little peace and quiet before I have to start consoling him again.”

“He’s taking it hard, huh?” Souji’s wince was audible. “Sorry about that.”

“Eh, I’ll live. He’ll live too, if he stops crying within the next week. Otherwise, no promises.” Yosuke fumbled for the house key with his free hand. “I’ll catch you later, okay?”

“Yeah, see y- uh.” Souji paused at the end of the usual greeting, one which no longer applied. “I’ll text you, or something.” 

“Yeah. Sounds good.” Yosuke said, thrown off by the now-necessary deviation from their comfortable script. “Bye, partner.”

“Take care.”

The phone beeped as Souji hung up, and Yosuke sighed again before opening the front door. He had an hour before Teddie would be home from the bear’s own shift at Junes. He only hoped Teddie wasn’t soaking that damn costume with tears… but hey. He missed Souji, too.

Though Souji had called him. And Souji wasn’t sure what he’d do without him, either. The thought sent a wave of warm contentment through him, brought an unexpected smile to his lips.

… And that was it. 

 

Yosuke shoved his phone into his pocket before going through the usual ritual: door locked, shoes kicked off, note on the kitchen table read but not remembered this time, because his brain was full of a potent blend of warmth and absolute terror. He climbed the stairs in a daze and opened the door to his room very slowly, feeling vaguely as if someone had hit him over the head. He closed the door, then locked it in a sharp, uncertain movement.

And then he faceplanted onto his futon. " _Fuck_ ," he mumbled into the pillow, because he was _such a moron_. Because only he would be so... so _monumentally dense_ as to... ugh, just thinking the words made him want to go jump into the TV and never come out again.

But the words were there, and he couldn’t deny them; he knew too well the terrible power of denying the truth, even as he tried to sink far enough into the futon to just disappear.

... Fall in love.

With his best friend.

_After Souji was gone forever._

He kept his face buried in his pillow for quite some time, just trying to come to terms with the whole concept. When he looked back over the past year… damnit, it made sense. He was pretty sure all the girls had had a crush on Souji at some point, why should he be any different _other than the whole being a guy thing oh god_. But Souji hadn't really dated any of the girls, other than that Ai chick, and that hadn't been about romance, apparently.

So did that mean he was...?

 _Nope nope nope not thinking about that_. Maybe Souji moving from 'person he saw every day' to 'far away and therefore extra-unattainable' had made it feel safer. May as well have feelings. Not like he could do anything about them, anyway.

His phone buzzed against his hip, making him jump. He lay there a moment longer, then sat up, rubbing at his face with his hands. _Come on, Hanamura. Snap out of it. He's gone, that's it, just... forget about it._ He grabbed his phone and leaned back.

The text was from Souji, of course.

_Forgot to say it earlier, but just so you know - I miss you, partner._

... He was going to throw his phone into the freakin' wall.

The 'reply' line blinked invitingly. Right, as if he would ever really say or do anything about this? Like he could just casually text back MISS U 2 BTW I<3U or some stupid shit like that?

The phone buzzed yet again.

_It really feels like I’ve been gone longer than a day. I guess I didn't realize how hard it'd be to leave._

"Damnit, Souji," he hissed at the phone. If he didn't know better, he'd think Souji was doing this on purpose, just to torture him. It would be just like him. Irritating, infuriating, stupid-

Buzz.

_Thanks for talking to me earlier, though. It made it a little more bearable._

_Why._ Yosuke stared at the phone. His thumb twitched towards the keypad.

Buzz.

_Take care, okay? I’ll catch you again later._

And then the phone was silent. No more typing indicators. Finally, after a few minutes without any new texts, Yosuke relaxed a little bit. He scrolled up through the previous texts, then back down again. The reply bar was the most terrifying thing he'd ever seen, and he'd fought Izanami.

He flinched as the door slammed downstairs, then let out a sigh - of frustration? Relief? He honestly didn’t know. “I’m back, Yosuke,” came Teddie’s voice, and Yosuke quickly got to his feet, shoving the phone back in his pocket. Like hell was he going to talk to Teddie about any of this, but… well, at least placating the bear would distract him, and maybe later everything would be back to normal.

Right.

.............

But he didn’t feel any better the next day. That weird floaty fluttery feeling was still there, and it only got worse when he actually thought about it. Ignoring it didn’t make it go away. He still couldn’t bring himself to reply to Souji’s earlier texts, in case he lost it and ended up typing some stupid, flowery bullshit into the phone, and the only thing he had to distract him was working at Junes. He almost wished he was in school, because maybe then he wouldn’t be dealing with two weeks of floaty fluttery hell while stocking shelves and running a register. 

But only almost, because a.) _fuck that_ and b.) he couldn’t really imagine Yasogami High without Souji, either, which was pretty pathetic. 

He fidgeted through most of his shift, trying to concentrate on work and pretty much failing. When his break came, he bolted for the breakroom and grabbed his phone from his bag, tensing as he realized he had a new text. From Souji, of course, who was probably wondering why he hadn’t replied. It wasn’t like him to not reply to every one of Souji’s messages without about six of his own, each more badly spelled than the last just because he _knew_ it drove Souji crazy. 

_You okay, man?_

He had no idea. Was he okay? Not really, especially now that he knew he was worrying Souji. He really didn't want to ignore his best friend, particularly given that he seemed to have a crush on him, what the hell. Maybe he could just fake being okay.

He typed out a response.

_Hahahah urso funyomg i'm fine i miss u2 tho bro_

... No.

_i'm fine sry bout taht i miss u alot_

... No.

_im ok how r u_

... Okay, he could look at that without cringing. He sent it, then leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes. At least he’d done something, even if it was pretty much the most non-committal thing possible. He could keep pretending, right? Just let it work its way out of his system, and everything would be fine.

Juuuuuuuust fine.

..................

 

Or maybe not.

At least pretending things were fine got a little easier, the more you did it, and Yosuke had a vested interest in pretending. They texted more than talked, and that made it easier; he was pretty sure his voice would betray him eventually if they had too many phone conversations, especially since Souji was weirdly perceptive. Their conversations rambled on through the next few days, as if to fill the gaps they used to spend hanging out together in person, and Yosuke did his best not to let anything out of the ordinary spill out into the text window.

But he couldn’t deny that he now looked forward to his breaks and evenings more for catching up with Souji than for any other reason. And the more time passed, the more he started to feel just a little bit okay with that, underneath the conflicted feelings.

Just a little.

Today, the texts from Souji that had piled up during his shift were mostly about unpacking. Yosuke sat down on his futon and read through the backlog contentedly before typing his own reply to Souji’s last text ( _Inaba really spoiled me on some things, let me tell you_ ): 

_lol ur kidding rite citis r the best this is stil b0rin_

Buzz.

_My room is so much smaller here. I don't think my stuff's going to fit. I didn't think I had that much stuff._

_DONT THROWUR SRWD AWAY_

_I wasn't going to, don't worry. Inaba’s still boring, huh?_

_well yeh since ur gone andstuff_

_Oh, I was wondering if you actually missed me. ;)_

_well uyeah of cours i do miss u a whole lot prtner u were the best thing abt this plce_ , Yosuke typed out, wistful - but he wasn't going to actually send that. That would be stupi-

Message Sent.

"I did not just do that."

... Yes. Yes he did. Head, meet pillow.

Buzz.

_Haha. I feel the same way though. About you, not me. We had some good times._

Yosuke groaned. There was no way in hell Souji actually felt the same way. Not like _that_. Not with a whole city full of girls waiting for him. But oh, how he wanted to believe it...

Almost reluctantly, he let himself think about it. At first, it just seemed weird - he couldn’t really envision Souji bringing him flowers, or something, or any of the other standard romantic gestures he’d just assumed happened for every relationship. Very little of it seemed to fit.

… But there were parts that did. He knew how Souji’s cooking tasted, what with all those dinners shared together and all those lunches on the school roof. He knew how Souji’s hand felt in his, from all the times they’d pulled each other back up. Hell, he knew how Souji’s arms felt around him, and when he thought about that he felt… well, embarrassed, yeah, because the whole situation had been embarrassing. 

And yet he also remembered how warm Souji had felt then, something solid to cling to, an anchor in a storm. The unhesitating strength of his partner’s grip, helping him up. The look of exhausted triumph after Izanami, with the transformed TV world spreading out around them - sweaty, beaten, nearly broken, but _alive_. 

His best friend. His partner.

That soft sense of warmth rose comfortably in his chest and colored his cheeks. _Partner._ Thinking about it now, the word carried a slightly different weight than it had just a week ago, but it still felt right. If he was honest with himself, well… he didn’t really want anybody else at his side. Just Souji. 

The thought made Yosuke grab his pillow and pull it over his face. "Shit... this is bad. This is so bad,” he groaned. He wrestled with the thought for a little longer before sighing and sitting up with an awkward, self-conscious chuckle. “Come on, Hanamura. Get it together,” he muttered, quickly getting to his feet, feeling restless and fidgety and _stupid_. There wasn’t any point in mooning around like this. Hell, even Teddie wasn’t this fucked up about Souji leaving. 

And, speaking of the bear... Yosuke checked the clock. He still had a little time before Teddie got home, and he needed to chill the hell out before that happened. A shower before dinner didn’t seem like a bad idea - it was easier to relax without that stupid bear pounding on the bathroom door and trying to talk to him without any respect for privacy whatsoever. He grabbed some mostly clean clothes off the floor and headed for the bathroom.

Still, despite the soothing warmth of the shower, he couldn’t quite escape thinking about Souji… and, worse, a new thought struck him as he was lathering up his hair with shampoo. If… if for some utterly bizarre reason Souji felt… the same way he did, did that mean they might eventually...?

Yosuke paused with his fingers tangled in his hair before turning beet red and scrubbing at his scalp with renewed vigor. He wasn't going to think about it, damnit.

But the thought kept returning like a particularly persistent fly. What would it be like...? Yosuke ducked his head under the spray, feeling shampoo suds slide down his neck. His skin felt hypersensitive to the sensation. 

What would it be like...? 

Slowly, tentatively, Yosuke traced one hand along his stomach and then down further still, teasing but not quite touching his stiffening cock. Would Souji touching him feel like this?

He hesitated for a moment, then gave in, curling his fingers around his cock and stroking lightly, thinking of how Souji’s strong, warm grip had felt on his hand and trying to imagine that touch… 

He shuddered, tightening his own grip, a shaky breath hissing through his teeth. Fuck, he was doomed. He began to move faster, stroking the length of his now definitely erect cock, because pretending that it was Souji touching him was _hot as fucking fire_ and he was pretty sure that was a bad thing.

Too bad he couldn’t bring himself to care about that right now.

Yosuke stifled a horribly needy sound and closed his eyes, which only made it easier to imagine it was Souji’s fingers teasing at the tip of his cock, Souji’s palm sliding soap-slick, fingertips teasing before cupping Yosuke’s cock fully, thumb flicking over the tip, faster, _faster_ until the rapidly-rising heat crested-

Yosuke came with a sharp jerk of his hips and a strangled moan. Panting a bit, he slid down until he could collapse into the tub, feeling vaguely ashamed - but probably not as ashamed as he _should_ have been.

Yeah. Definitely doomed.

................

 

_He wasn’t sure how they’d gotten to this point - but they had, and Souji was with him, skin-on-skin, his mouth on Yosuke’s own, his hand on Yosuke’s cock again, and Yosuke couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t do anything but moan as he arched into Souji’s touch and let himself go-_

"Yosuke! _Yosuke!_ "

It was quite possibly the rudest awakening in the history of mankind. Yosuke opened his eyes to realize two things: one, Teddie was kneeling next to his futon and shaking his shoulders. Two, that had most _definitely_ been a wet dream. "What the _hell_ , Teddie," he groaned, feeling sticky and disoriented.

"You were making weird noises, Yosuke! Were you having a bad dream?"

For a moment, Yosuke contemplated murder. "Teddie... just go to sleep, okay?"

"But you sounded like you were hurt!" Teddie looked distressed. “Did something bad happen in the dream? Were there Shadows? Or maybe-”

"I’m _fine_ ,” Yosuke snapped, then sighed. “Sorry, Ted. I really am fine. I’m going to the bathroom, okay?” He stood up carefully, taking the blanket with him so Teddie wouldn't get a chance to ask embarrassing questions about the state of his boxers - and, after a moment's thought, he grabbed his phone, too. “Just go to sleep, Ted.”

He left the room before Teddie could answer, padding down the hall red-faced until he could lock himself into the bathroom. With a frustrated sigh, he let the blanket drop and closed the toilet lid, then sat down.

 _This is stupid_. Yosuke closed his eyes and let his head droop. Was he just going to end up thinking about this all the time until he went crazy? What if he talked in his sleep and Teddie heard - or saw - more than he already had? It'd be just like the stupid bear to tell Souji that Yosuke had been talking about him and making weird noises in his sleep and- _fuck_ , maybe he'd better not ever sleep again.

Or maybe he'd better just get it over with. Then Souji would at least know, and the embarrassment would probably purge everything out of his system and it'd be over and they could all go back to pretending everything was fine until it became true.

Before he could think better of it, Yosuke dialed Souji's number, then pressed the phone to his ear. "Come on, pick up," he mumbled, tapping his foot as the phone began to ring. Once. Twice. Three times-

"It's two in the morning," came a muzzy voice from the other end.

"S-sorry," Yosuke said, then sighed. "What's up?"

"Sleep, in theory," Souji said wryly. "What's up with you? It's a little too late for the Midnight Channel."

Yosuke made a face, then took a deep breath. "I gotta talk to you, partner. It's serious."

"What happened?" He heard the concern creep into Souji's voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yes - er... no, but... _fuck_." His free hand clenched into a fist. He couldn't keep living like this, damnit. "You left."

"... Yes, I know."

"Yeah, but... I mean, uh... you left, so... I kinda... started thinking about, uh. Things. Like... stupid things, shit, I don't even know what I'm doing-"

"Yosuke. Calm down," Souji said, his voice steady. Kind. "What is it?"

"I... thinkImightbeinlovewithyou," Yosuke blurted out, shaking. "You _jerk_."

Silence from the other end.

"... say something, damnit," Yosuke demanded after a few seconds. "Or hang up. Whatever."

"I'm not going to hang up," Souji said immediately. "You, um… you said you might be..."

"In love. With you. Yes. I'm an idiot."

Another pause, and Yosuke was on the verge of issuing another demand for a response into the phone when Souji finally spoke. "You're not an idiot, Yosuke. I just wasn't expecting - I didn't think you'd-"

Yosuke prepared to hurl the phone into the wall in self-defense, if needed.

"-ever return my feelings," Souji finished, and his voice was shaking too, but it was also so soft, so... so _tender_ that Yosuke could hardly believe it.

"W-what?"

"It's been a few months since I started thinking I might be in love with _you_ ," Souji said quietly. "I just didn't want to make you uncomfortable, or ruin anything, so I didn't-"

" _You asshole_. This whole fucking time you were-!"

"Yeah, well," Souji began, but Yosuke cut him off.

"I've been going crazy for three days and you've been thinking a few _months_? I can't believe you. You must have nerves of steel, partner." He said the endearment without thinking about it, and it seemed to resonate in the line between them.

When Souji spoke next, he could tell the other boy was smiling. "It wasn't easy. I just wasn't sure how you'd feel about it."

"Uhhh. Well... I dunno how I would've reacted then," Yosuke admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. "I didn't really... even think about it until after you left. That's why I wasn't responding to your texts, I just... it was a lot to deal with all of a sudden, y'know?"

"So... how are you reacting now?" The question seemed just a little hesitant.

"... Um. I'm, uh... pretty okay with it. Actually, _really_ okay with it. I’ve, uh, been thinking about it a lot lately. Before I said anything, I mean.” Annnnnd he was not going to mention the dream, because because he was pretty sure leading with _oh, by the way, we were totally going at it in the dream we just had_ was not really the right way to start… whatever this conversation was going to lead to. “So, uh, yeah. Ugh, I’m screwing this up.”

“No, you’re not,” Souji said quickly. “I promise, you’re not.”

There was a long, slightly awkward pause.

“Uh. What now?” Yosuke said, eventually. He felt all wrung out, and the sense of terror hadn’t gone away, because he’d said what he’d said and now he had to live with it, good or bad, and he still wasn’t sure which this was going to be. 

“I think… we keep doing what we’ve always done, except maybe we kiss once in a while. You know, just to start.”

Startled, Yosuke realized that Souji - _Souji_ , Fearless Leader - sounded just as scared as he did. “Thank god, I’m not the only one who’s freaked out,” he blurted into the phone. “Er, I mean, I- _fuck_.”

Souji chuckled wryly. “You’re not… but I think it’ll get better.”

“Yeah.” Yosuke grinned. 

And then he flinched as _something_ quietly tapped on the door. “Yosuke! Are you okay? You’ve been in there for a beary long time! Are you sick?” Teddie said, far too loudly for Yosuke’s taste.

“Oh damnit- hang on, Souji, it’s the damn bear-” Yosuke got up, nearly tripped over the discarded blanket, and opened the door just a crack. “Teddie, I thought I told you to go to bed already!”

“I did, Yosuke, but then I heard talking, and… oh!” Teddie leaned in, pushing on the door a bit from his side, and Yosuke realized with horror that he’d noticed Yosuke’s phone. “Were you talking to somebody? Who is it? Is it Sensei??”

“ _Go to sleep_ ,” Yosuke hissed, and pushed the door closed as hard as he could. He held his breath until he heard sad footsteps trailing back down the hall, then slowly slipped down to sit with his back pressed against the door. “Ugh. Souji? You still there?” 

“Yeah. I heard,” Souji said. “You know he’ll come back in a few minutes.”

Yosuke sighed. “I know. Especially if he figures out that I really am talking to you. He’ll wake up the whole house if that happens...”

“Maybe we should call it a night? You’ve got work tomorrow, right? Opening shift?”

“Opening freakin’ shift.” Yosuke made a face. “But I can call you right after. And we can, uh… talk more? About this? Us?” Was there an us now? He’d have to think about how that felt, once he got over the shaky, unreal sensation of _fuck, I actually told him_. 

“Sounds perfect.” He heard the relief in Souji’s voice. “I’ll talk to you then. Partner.”

“Y-yeah. Partner. ...G’night, Souji.”

“Sleep well.”

……………

Yosuke woke up the next morning in a strange, not entirely unpleasant haze - half exhaustion, half that same unreal sense of having changed everything, hopefully for the better. The fear part, at least, was more muted now. It was done. It had happened.

… Hadn’t it? 

_just makin sur but that rly hapend last nite rite?_ he texted Souji as he crawled out of his futon. Not that Souji would answer right away, he was sure that the other boy was still asleep-

Buzz. Yosuke nearly dropped the phone in his haste to read the unexpected text.

_Yeah, pretty sure it did. You’re still okay with it? I am._

Before he could reply, another message arrived.

_Just want to make sure you don’t regret anything, you know?_

So he sat down again, despite the ticking clock, because he wanted to take the time to make this perfect. To be as sure as possible. No more being too embarrassed, too in denial, too stupid to say what he was feeling. 

In the end, the text he sent was short, but he had confidence in every word.

 

_no regrets partnr - promse._

**Author's Note:**

> This fic now has a sequel! Read [The Bridge to Your Arms](http://archiveofourown.org/works/2356319) for more.


End file.
